Parenting, A Vital Role

This week in class we have been discussing parenting and how to be effective parents. One day in class we talked about consequences. I believe that it is important that we let our children learn for themselves and that we don't hold their hand throughout life.

As parents this isn't the easiest thing to do. We want to help them as much as possible and we don't want them to suffer. But if we are constantly doing things for them we are really hurting them more than helping them. We have to let them suffer the natural consequences. Letting them learn for themselves allows them to grow and become the independent individuals we want them to become.

Of course, there are certain things we shouldn't let our children suffer, because it is not age or situation appropriate. But we need to be constantly looking at our parenting and changing it based on their, age, maturity and cognition levels. We shouldn't raise our children the same way we did as they were a baby. We need to adjust our parenting to how much they are growing.

The same principle of adjusting our parenting styles based on our child's maturity level also goes along with how we need to raise each child differently. Each child is born with their own temperament and personality. Based on each child's needs we need to discipline, love and care for them based on their specific needs. We shouldn't raise each child the same and expect them to turn out the same. Each person has a different personality and temperament that they are born with and we shouldn't try to change that. As parents we should embrace our child's differences and learn to raise them based on their specific needs and wants. Learning to adjust to their needs is a lot easier than to force them to adjust to our own ways.

Hopkins gives great research on when and when not to let our children suffer natural consequences.
He gives three areas in which we shouldn't allow natural consequences to teach these are:
1. Too Dangerous
2. Too far in the future
3. Others are affected (primary)

Finding the balance is the key here. We need to make sure that we don't interfere with the natural consequences, and let or children learn for themselves. Doing things for our children will not allow them to take the responsibility that they need to learn and grow from. We have been given our agency for a reason. If we as parents don't allow them to use it we are raising them how Satan would want us. When we allow our children to use their agency we are raising them how Heavenly Father wold raise them. They are not just our children, but Heavenly Father's and we need to raise them as such.