Communication: Vital for healthy relationships

I believe that communication is a key tool to learn for the betterment of relationships and families. When you think of communication, one might think it is the words that are spoken, but it is so much more that that. Non-verbal actions and tone are also methods of communicating. Words make up 14% and tone makes up 35% equaling 51% of all communication. In other words we look to non-verbal cues as a method of communication more than we do to the words that someone is trying to communicate to us. Our non-verbal skills make up half of what we are trying to communicate. That is why the way you say something (tone) and the way you convey it (non-verbal) is so much more important than what you are actually saying.

Sarcasm is a tool in which messes with good communication and ends up doing more harm than good. We should all strive to be less sarcastic and be more clear and concise when we are speaking to those we love and care about.

 Men and women are very different in the ways that they communicate. Women for example tend to be thinking about something and then comment on it without giving the background story. This happens a lot and the poor men are left thinking, "where the heck did that come from?" To solve this problem women can either explain where they are coming from or men can ask "what is the background to that thought, please help me understand." It is very difficult to encode and decode what people are trying to say to us. We all have our own perceptions on things, and need to be clear on how we communicate or get our point across. Patience in communication is essential.

In Ephesians chapter 4 it gives great examples on how we should and shouldn't communicate. In chapter 5 it talks about the do's and dont's in communicating in marriage. And in chapter 6 it talks about how parents should communicate with their children. These chapters give profound insights to how we should be communicating and how we should not. It is very clear and straight forward. After reading these verses of scriptures I have come to realize that I have a lot of room to improve. In class someone brought up the question how does venting help? Our teacher said that it isn't helpful at all, but that it is degrading and doesn't solve our problems. If you think about it, Christ had all the reasons in the world to vent, but never did. Venting is destructive and lets us talk badly about situations or people. This really struck me because I go on venting rampages just about every day to my husband. After learning about the destructiveness about it I am going to try my hardest to stop.

I also loved how in class we discussed how the quorum of the twelve and the prophet comes to a complete consensus. They never yell, raise their voice and are always willing to hear everyone's perspective. And yet, no matter what topic they are discussing each and every time they come to one consensus. I love that! I hope to aspire to have this same method with my own family and in our own family counsels. The reason they are all able to come to a complete consensus every time is because they are coming to a consensus of God's will rather than their own. When we are thinking of our own preferences or opinions we will never come to a complete consensus but when we are putting God's will above our own, each family member or person will come to the same agreement. That is so amazing to me. I hope to have prayerful and spiritual counsels with me own family just like the brethren of our church do.